Oh Boogie
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Research is boring. Though some facts and knowledge gained through research can be quite shocking. It is still boring nontheless. I'm sleepy, I'm tired. Yet I still have to slave away at the machine that was bestowed upon me to care for and use. My eyes feel like drooping and my head feels like falling. When will I be able to sleep tonight?
I so definitely should have worked for the whole of last week. I so do not regret it. Now the decision is for me to make as to when to get it. I'm piqued at the idea that it has to be reserved. I'm not too comfortable with it.
I'm supposed to get my hair cut tonight, but I'm too tired to go get it cut. Tomorow, definitely, because tomorow, I have to get my pants. Maybe I should take a break tomorow. Yeah, I'll take a break tomorow. I need to sleep til my brain says, STOP SLEEPING YOU FUMBLING IDIOT. But for reasons apart from the stupid projects I've been losing sleep for, totally worth it.
And to you, my dear friend whom I chanced upon the other day. I don't really quite care what you think about me. Atleast not at this point of time. Because I know you're not exactly doing your job. You're just like Mr.Ong. A man who cares but can't express. The goals are valid but the methods are dreaded. I won't say I don't understand how you feel. But she's growing up, she needs the space to be given to her gradually. It doesn't really make any point to constrict what she does. I understand that you're afraid she might get hurt. But, don't you think that he might be someone whom she trusts, and is someone you can trust too? In my eyes, she's not a girl. She's a lady, a woman. Someone who is independent and knows her own boundaries. Hell, I need someone who can love me and control me, for me. And she's exactly the person who does what's been described. Personally, I don't want to hurt her. Though I admit that my gut feelings keep telling me that I will hurt her one day, I just want to go through with it, because she's the woman I love. I know it's oxymoronic to say that I don't want to hurt her, and that my gut feelings say that I will hurt her one day. But I want to spend my time with her during which I don't hurt her. And even if circumstances forbid, but I still hurt her. Then it's time that I have to be left alone by her. I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are, I hope you understand her situation. She's been through enough, making her go through more will only make her crack. When she does, I hope you don't regret it. As far as it goes, I'll try to save her from cracking. But if she does crack, it'll be your fault, because you never opened up enough. Things that you did, you didn't admit to, you didn't apologize for, you tried to control when it has to be relinquished. Hasn't it been long enough for things to have been this way that you ask yourself that it is time to bury the hatchet and just go forth so that things can change? Even though you know that they can't, you should at least try. So that you won't have the guilt in the future to live with? If you don't feel guilty about it.....I don't know what to say.
Baby, I love you. I will stand by you through it all. It's not fair that you have to go through this alone. So I will be there besde you whenever you need me. Regardless of the circumstances, I promise you, I will try as hard and as much as possible to come to your side whenever I can.
I so definitely should have worked for the whole of last week. I so do not regret it. Now the decision is for me to make as to when to get it. I'm piqued at the idea that it has to be reserved. I'm not too comfortable with it.
I'm supposed to get my hair cut tonight, but I'm too tired to go get it cut. Tomorow, definitely, because tomorow, I have to get my pants. Maybe I should take a break tomorow. Yeah, I'll take a break tomorow. I need to sleep til my brain says, STOP SLEEPING YOU FUMBLING IDIOT. But for reasons apart from the stupid projects I've been losing sleep for, totally worth it.
And to you, my dear friend whom I chanced upon the other day. I don't really quite care what you think about me. Atleast not at this point of time. Because I know you're not exactly doing your job. You're just like Mr.Ong. A man who cares but can't express. The goals are valid but the methods are dreaded. I won't say I don't understand how you feel. But she's growing up, she needs the space to be given to her gradually. It doesn't really make any point to constrict what she does. I understand that you're afraid she might get hurt. But, don't you think that he might be someone whom she trusts, and is someone you can trust too? In my eyes, she's not a girl. She's a lady, a woman. Someone who is independent and knows her own boundaries. Hell, I need someone who can love me and control me, for me. And she's exactly the person who does what's been described. Personally, I don't want to hurt her. Though I admit that my gut feelings keep telling me that I will hurt her one day, I just want to go through with it, because she's the woman I love. I know it's oxymoronic to say that I don't want to hurt her, and that my gut feelings say that I will hurt her one day. But I want to spend my time with her during which I don't hurt her. And even if circumstances forbid, but I still hurt her. Then it's time that I have to be left alone by her. I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are, I hope you understand her situation. She's been through enough, making her go through more will only make her crack. When she does, I hope you don't regret it. As far as it goes, I'll try to save her from cracking. But if she does crack, it'll be your fault, because you never opened up enough. Things that you did, you didn't admit to, you didn't apologize for, you tried to control when it has to be relinquished. Hasn't it been long enough for things to have been this way that you ask yourself that it is time to bury the hatchet and just go forth so that things can change? Even though you know that they can't, you should at least try. So that you won't have the guilt in the future to live with? If you don't feel guilty about it.....I don't know what to say.
Baby, I love you. I will stand by you through it all. It's not fair that you have to go through this alone. So I will be there besde you whenever you need me. Regardless of the circumstances, I promise you, I will try as hard and as much as possible to come to your side whenever I can.