Oh Boogie
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Sudden distance I feel. Maybe things have been adjusted before either of us knew it.
Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Where do I begin?
I'm exhausted. Goodness.
Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Where do I begin?
I too, have grown accustomed to your presence. It's warm, comforting, and perhaps if this were in a time where gender inequality was prominent-a great sense of security.
Then again, most likely too accustomed. Enough to be beyond a point where it's more than just a comfort zone. Your absence will draw forth a void in my life that cannot be filled by someone else. As which someone else has done. I dare not say that this void left behind has been filled. However, I will say and point out that the void has done it's damage, and it's been forsaken for the purposes of greater goodness in my journey in this world. Having another sudden, quick implosion would simply not do anyone any good.
While some would say that the solution would be to not let this blessing of mine slip from my grasp. I would have to say that, I'm truly self-destructive. Time and time again, it was simply a nudge and most would have been lost. Too much would have been in shambles, and time I would say is no longer abundant. Despite being what most would call young, I think I've reached a point where I know that time cannot be bought. Do please try not to misunderstand. I'm not mature enough. I simply perceive the value of time, differently from what others would.
Who would wish that they spent two years of their lives trying to reach a synergy with someone else, only to realise at the end of it all that the effort required is too demanding. So much that giving up would be more economical than to continue. Perhaps the law of diminishing return has its chains reach here, the shores of relationships too?
Definitely it's been one too many times, I've let my temperamental self get the better side of me. I've only myself to blame. Sometimes I let myself focus on something else that other things simply become an irritant. Other times it can be a simple lack of sleep that becomes a blade against my favour.
However, I am truly apologetic that my lack of sleep has gripped my senses more firmly than my mind can. While others might see it as an excuse that the lack of sleep should be the lame reason to carry my emotions. Is it not the human nature to be a little more sensitive when one has a lack of rest? Even medical doctors recognise this little side effect.
I guess it's a matter of having that little bit of control and sensibility before saying something. Maybe it makes us more human to have that extra bit.
Isn't it human too to be unable to have that control?
Maybe if we can't accept that. Maybe we need a paradigm shift in the relationship. A major, drastic shift where the distance between us, should be readjusted.
I'm exhausted. Goodness.
Going to flash my phone. This sucks. If only I knew of the damn problem earlier. I wouldn't have to go through so much trouble to get it back to stock firmware. Bloody hell. It'll be seriously fucked up if I brick the damn thing. Oh well..this is crap.
It's just been so crappy. Sigh.